Guess it's high time I go back to blogging again. It's been years already since I last blog. Probably because I got too busy and most of the time occupied by work, or some other 'social' and personal matters that I forgot I still have this mean to blab my thoughts around.
Since I got sick yesterday, I have this ample time today to rest which I found unproductive and so I opened my laptop and found myself browsing my own blog. God, how I missed writing! Even though I am no good at this, I still want to express myself sometimes. It's sad that I don't get to blog all my wedding preparation details, my own wedding, our travels and my feelings unexpressed. But that's how it is for a working girl like me.
Today I will reblog my previous post which I really don't recall writing or feeling before. Call it paramnesia because I really do not remember until I read it. You see, re-reading your blog makes you go back to a certain timeline you once experienced before. I don't know if it's good or bad. But for me, it's nirvana. Becoming aware or conscious of what's happened before and it's like traveling through time and seeing yourself on screen experiencing either pain, misery, happiness, love, innocence or anguish, but this time, you got to smile because it happened, you shared it and you got over it.
Here is a blog post dated February 25, 2009 entitled: Human Imperfection is not a fallacy.
Amidst the undeniable flamboyance of assurance (may it be in love, friendship, and family), one soul may possibly shake off by drama of relentless truth to human imperfection.
I had not realized – then – the nature of disillusion, may it be a possible deception to ones show-off character, and the truth that everybody will change in no time. I am not in a know-who particular subject as I am writing these texts. I am among those spectators who beheld someone’s guilt pointed on his being. And take account of my thought of who that one became. Indeed, that someone, maybe, is one of the countless victims of impulse and remorse.
For the moment, I was bothered by the thought that I can be as upset and saddened as I am to one person who has done something ‘that one person’ may be unaware about. (Yeah, I can become a horrible bitch when I am exasperated). If only I could verbalize how I was feeling, I would. But I know my nasty look can speak, and it’s enough. I admit and realize, though, that I have become so judgmental. And now I appreciate the wisdom it teaches me that certainly, no body is perfect. According to what I’ve read, “Human nature is inherently flawed, the secular equivalent of the doctrine of original sin.”
Yes, human is imperfect, and that no one is spared from that imperfection. Yet, everyone is saying, “I am only human”, but kept on making almost the same mistakes over and over. Maybe, our mistakes are what make each of us a more complete individual as long as we take the time to learn from our mistakes. How we learn from our mistakes is what’s really important and is the real lesson behind our human imperfection. No matter how unfair the lesson may seem, we all struggle to learn that lesson. I, myself, have gotten through a lot many times already, and I must admit, I have learned my lesson in such a painful manner. I have felt how unfair life is first before I realized that it’s not.
Life teaches us lessons, so what is it that’s unfair? (I hope somebody understands me, but I know some may oppose.).
Hah!! What is this all about? I vaguely remember what I am going through during this time but I do relive that "past" I once buried deep in the limbo. I am certain I was hurt and that Mr. Life had taught me lessons which I really have heard so many times when they suddenly hit me: that no human is perfect and that life is still fair.
Some may call this throwback, but I call this paramnesia (although I'm certain I wasn't dreaming while experiencing such pain and it's reality, I still call it paramnesia)! Did something like that really happened to me? Now I'm crazy unsure! Kidding!
Still, I am thinking what if I haven't wrote any of it? Any of my thoughts. Will someone care? What do I care? I myself doesn't care! But really, our past experiences might give us a clue as to why we are the person we are now. And it is measured/mirrored through the words we spoke. And maybe, just maybe, though we, humans, are imperfect, we will learn something from it and make us better than we were before.
So now, I'm gonna write the best way I can when I have time. I can say I don't have time for this but I will MAKE TIME to write, for sure.
