Favorite time of the Day

It is ironic how dusk is supposed to be my favorite time of the day. Ironic because I love dusk at the same time hates it for it reminds me how time flies so fast and I can never bring back whatever has been. 

Our view thousands of feet above sea level. One of the perks of 

travelling is being above the clouds while seeing the beauty of one of God's perfect creations and feeling a different kind of bliss as you watch the sun set. It allows you to have that moment of awe, excitement, gratefulness and a little bit of solitude. Then minutes after, the sun is out of your sight and before you realize it, is rising at the other part of the world. 

I hate it when the sun is setting and a whole day has come to end and most times I think of what I have accomplished the whole day and think if it was productive, relevant or helpful.

But I love it for it brings out a beauty you never thought would see just watching the sun go down the horizon. It’s scenic. It’s majestic. It’s glorious. It’s as if, you have to stop what you are doing just for few minutes to notice and appreciate a natural show in the sky. I would always want to grasp this fleeting beauty given a moment or opportunity. 

Did you know that the English words "Orient" and "Occident", meaning "east" and "west", respectively, are descended from Latin words meaning "sunrise" and "sunset"? Just another FYI. Got it from here.

Paramnesia: A timeline lost and remembered

Guess it's high time I go back to blogging again. It's been years already since I last blog. Probably because I got too busy and most of the time occupied by work, or some other 'social' and personal matters that I forgot I still have this mean to blab my thoughts around.

Since I got sick yesterday, I have this ample time today to rest which I found unproductive and so I opened my laptop and found myself browsing my own blog. God, how I missed writing!  Even though I am no good at this, I still want to express myself sometimes. It's sad that I don't get to blog all my wedding preparation details, my own wedding, our travels and my feelings unexpressed. But that's how it is for a working girl like me.

Today I will reblog my previous post which I really don't recall writing or feeling before. Call it paramnesia because I really do not remember until I read it. You see, re-reading your blog makes you go back to a certain timeline you once experienced before. I don't know if it's good or bad. But for me, it's nirvana. Becoming aware or conscious of what's happened before and it's like traveling through time and seeing yourself on screen experiencing either pain, misery, happiness, love, innocence or anguish, but this time, you got to smile because it happened, you shared it and you got over it.

Here is a blog post dated February 25, 2009 entitled: Human Imperfection is not a fallacy.

Amidst the undeniable flamboyance of assurance (may it be in love, friendship, and family), one soul may possibly shake off by drama of relentless truth to human imperfection.

I had not realized – then – the nature of disillusion, may it be a possible deception to ones show-off character, and the truth that everybody will change in no time. I am not in a know-who particular subject as I am writing these texts. I am among those spectators who beheld someone’s guilt pointed on his being. And take account of my thought of who that one became. Indeed, that someone, maybe, is one of the countless victims of impulse and remorse.

For the moment, I was bothered by the thought that I can be as upset and saddened as I am to one person who has done something ‘that one person’ may be unaware about. (Yeah, I can become a horrible bitch when I am exasperated). If only I could verbalize how I was feeling, I would. But I know my nasty look can speak, and it’s enough. I admit and realize, though, that I have become so judgmental. And now I appreciate the wisdom it teaches me that certainly, no body is perfect. According to what I’ve read, “Human nature is inherently flawed, the secular equivalent of the doctrine of original sin.”

Yes, human is imperfect, and that no one is spared from that imperfection. Yet, everyone is saying, “I am only human”, but kept on making almost the same mistakes over and over. Maybe, our mistakes are what make each of us a more complete individual as long as we take the time to learn from our mistakes. How we learn from our mistakes is what’s really important and is the real lesson behind our human imperfection. No matter how unfair the lesson may seem, we all struggle to learn that lesson. I, myself, have gotten through a lot many times already, and I must admit, I have learned my lesson in such a painful manner. I have felt how unfair life is first before I realized that it’s not.

Life teaches us lessons, so what is it that’s unfair? (I hope somebody understands me, but I know some may oppose.).

Hah!! What is this all about? I vaguely remember what I am going through during this time but I do relive that "past" I once buried deep in the limbo. I am certain I was hurt and that Mr. Life had taught me lessons which I really have heard so many times when they suddenly hit me: that no human is perfect and that life is still fair.

Some may call this throwback, but I call this paramnesia (although I'm certain I wasn't dreaming while experiencing such pain and it's reality, I still call it paramnesia)! Did something like that really happened to me? Now I'm crazy unsure! Kidding!

Still, I am thinking what if I haven't wrote any of it? Any of my thoughts. Will someone care? What do I care? I myself doesn't care! But really, our past experiences might give us a clue as to why we are the person we are now. And it is measured/mirrored through the words we spoke. And maybe, just maybe, though we, humans, are imperfect, we will learn something from it and make us better than we were before.

So now, I'm gonna write the best way I can when I have time. I can say I don't have time for this but I will MAKE TIME to write, for sure.

My friend, my inspiration..

We always have an inspiration, I believe. During college, I’ve always been inspired by the thought that I will make my parents proud when I graduated and have a great job; independent from them, who bravely face their so called “real world”. We also have someone, may be a friend, a relative, an artist, a writer, or anyone who comes to inspire us and give us the motivation to do better with what we are doing.

I’ve never been fascinated by writing then, especially during high school or college. When I have these assignments that require writing, I never got excited doing them. I just do them because I’m obliged to – talk about doing something you hate, or something you feel you ought to do not because you love it but because you have to (if you want to pass a certain course). But the love for reading finally caught my interest, and then writing as well follows.

For my BF - Best Friend and Boyfriend

Make a Smilebox scrapbook

1 day Bohol Adventure

June 20, 2009, We woke up before 6am in the morning; walked by the beach, sight seeing, and let the sun burn our skin! haha! plus of course we didn't let pass the opportunity of capturing Bohol's beach resort's pride. aww, awesome! see pictures here

After breakfast at Dumaluan Beach Resort, we head on straight to the Blood Compact site to start our Bohol tour! The view is much more amazing, really! Kuya Ronald told us that the statues were made of real bronze, kaya pala super init nung madikit kmi sa statue! After the BC Site, we went to Baclayon Church, as we kiddingly joke, 'ahh Bakla daw yon church', hehe. It's the 2nd oldest church here in the Philippines next to Intramuros. It's really incredible how much pride they took as you see how well they preserve their history! We've seen it through the Baclayon Museum, although we are not allowed to take pictures inside. And inside of the church, bawal ang naka-shorts during the mass, and bawal ang nakaspagetti or sleeveless at backless inside. Thank goodness they allow balabal.Ha-ha!

Good Read: Susi sa Pag-asenso ng Pinas

This story has been passed on emails. It happens to hit me, and realize: "tama si manong driver!" And at the end, it will give us a meaningful thought of voting wisely on the near 2010 national election.

Here's a long yet good read:

Tsuper pala ang sikreto o susi ng pagasenso ng Pinas, ang sabi ko sa aking sarili habang pababa sa jeep na aking nasakyan. Natawa ako pag naaalala ko ang sinabi ng tsuper na kausap ko lang kanina. "Para makaahon tayo sa hirap dapat nating itaas lahat ng bilihin. Itaas ang jeepney fare sa P25 kada tao. Tangalan ng tax ang mga mayayaman. Triplehen naman ang tax ng mga mahihirap", ang suhestion ng mamang drayber ng dyip na nasakyan ko.

Influenza A's influence...scary!

Swine flu (Influenza A H1N1) is starting to fright me – big time! I am not a health-conscious person (ok – not-so-health-conscious), but this outbreak really scares the hell out of me.

The world is now in phase 5 (there are 6 phases) of the WHO’s pandemic criteria – that means a global outbreak is renowned. The virus, at present has threatened and affected 66 countries, and infected more than 19,000 people, causing 117 deaths – from sunstar.com report as of June 4, 2009. Swine flu positive cases in the Philippines now reach 29.

According to what I’ve read, there is no available vaccine to protect humans from swine flu. But of course, it’s treatable to some kind of medication. So, what’s the fuss about? Nothing! Ha-ha! Nah – it just makes me into thinking that we don’t need it now – especially now, that we are in great economic crisis and uncertainty. (sa panahon ngayon, mahal magkasakit at nakakatakot mamatay dahil sa flu).

23rd Birthday Celebration

I have separated this entry on my previous birthday blog because I felt that it deserves a separate space for me to tell the whole story with what adventure I had on my birthday itself. I have experienced a different kind of awe, surprise and excitement! Thanks to my boyfriend and the people we’ve encountered during this adventure.

March 21, my birthday. I have received oodles of texts from friends, family and some orgmates greeting me a happy birthday. My parents called me up and greet me, and told me that they’ll be cooking some food to celebrate my birthday even without my presence. Ha-ha! Thanks to you all!

Pre-Birthday Celebration

Last Saturday, March 21, was my birthday. The whole week was really special! Except last Wednesday, March 18, where I made my out-of-the-blue tantrum for some petty reason! Ha-ha! But nevertheless, my birthday celebration was overwhelming! I had a 3-day celebration, which started on Thursday, March 19, where my housemates, Ian and I celebrated it with gaiety and laughter.

Earlier that day, I received an advance rocky road-red ribbon birthday cake delivery from Ian and shared it with my office mates. After which, he escorted me to the Dampa, Metro Walk to have a reservation for March 20’s dinner with friends। Then we set off straight to my apartment to meet my housemates and have some drink। Jam was late, by the way! Ha-ha! But it’s touchingly because he had hard time looking for cake to give me. 

Unforgettable evening with Natalie Cole

Sunday, March 8, Ate Ayie texted, “Zai, musta na? Ako haggard, paano naassign ako sa radio program ni Sen. Jinggoy, kaya ngarag ako ngaun. Gsto mo manood ng concert ni Natalie Cole? ”. To my delight, I ultimately replied, “Wow, libre? Sure. Ako ndi nmn busy, ok lang,”. And she said, “oo bah, basta sa bleachers lang, gsto ko lang mag-emote at marinig ang songs nia.”

And there, all is set. March 11, Wednesday, around 8pm, we met at gateway! Yey! As we came up and entered the coliseum, I was a bit disappointed to see a not so huge crowd that she dragged at Araneta. But nonetheless, I was expecting to hear a number of doubtless all time favorite love songs that she’s popularized. At around 8:30pm, Natalie, the daughter of jazz and pop legend Nat King Cole, showed up to the thrilled and enthusiastic crowd waiting for her comeback performance after 25 years in Manila! She was welcomed with a warm round of applause from her excited fans and supporters. (Yeah, and we’re one of those fans, hihi!).

Forgiving is a gift

Disclaimer: (I wouldn’t want to sound so virtuous here, I just want to share some realizations, some points I’ve read and learned, and my own experience to my subject)

They say that being lenient or forgiving is a gift!

For the countless problems we are facing, it would be hard for us to describe a succinct illustration of how to be able to, for goodness sake, forgive and forget if we once endured the twinge of suffering, evil and prejudice.

Flowers for me?

Flowers, for me, have something about squirt of colours that carry out some positive behavioural responses on the recipient’s mood. Or should I say, they somewhat bring about life satisfaction due to their noteworthy meaning. I should know. I have already received bouquets of flowers lots of times already!

But one fact about receiving a bouquet of flowers that made it so gratifying is it’s sure-fire way of recuperating someone’s mood. (ok inulit ko lang ata). They have an immediate impact on happiness (source: http://www.flowersuk.com). As for me, I get a true and excited smiles and all I feel is delight and gratitude upon receiving flowers.

Human Imperfection is not a Fallacy

What is sorry for?

Saying, “I’m sorry”, “I apologize”, can be a little so difficult to say. Why? Perhaps, those words get hold of an incredible power. One honest apology gives out many purposes. It can dissolve anger, mend relationships, heal a broken heart, and can even have health benefits (such as lowering stress levels. Yeah right, according to one article from a study conducted by – I forgot the name of the university, ha-ha!).

Initially, we apologize because we realize that something we did or said hurt one person and we feel that we were not right to do or say so. Ideally, a request for forgiveness conveys genuine regret for hurting someone. On the other hand, there were times that saying “sorry” is merely an attempt to receiving a quick forgiveness for something you did wrong, whether you’re apologetic for your action or not.

When you think you’re in the wrong, you must regret your actions, take responsible for those actions and be ready to willingly remedy the situation! (Now, that’s sincerity!). However when you know that you’re both to blame, meaning you both know that you’re likewise at fault, one of you shall initiate an action or the “I’m sorry, I know we’re both at fault” drama. (Yah! Ha-ha!).

Nonetheless, even though we know that saying sorry can be as hard as no one has ever imagined (for some person), I believe that it’s also stodgy and heavy reacting to that apology. If you’re the person that’s hurt, maybe you’ll react differently, depending on the level of hurt or the manner or situation you’re into.

It’s vague and unclear when someone says, “don’t worry about it”, or “ok lang”. The ambiguity of those words remain baffling and puzzling to someone, especially because saying, “ok lang” rarely means that. The ‘ok lang’ phrase may mean, “yes you’ve hurt me, but im not ready yet to forgive you for doing so.” (I plead guilty about this. I must admit I’m oftentimes like this.). I only say ‘ok lang’ because one person is trying to find for some “closure” about an issue, and most of the time, I’m simply not ready for that closure and there’s a possibility that the issue may be brought up again in the future. Some person says, “I’m sorry” over and over, and it’s irritating. Yes, we may know that you’re sorry, but one must understand that everyone needs time to absorb everything or is too upset over what’s happened and isn’t ready to let go.

Just wait and don’t think that the one you’re sorry for isn’t giving you any room for peace at all. Wait for the time that person tells you, “I accept your apology”, or “Apology accepted!” Just be sure you have made that person felt your being genuinely apologetic and that you wouldn’t try to do it ever again. That manner, you will know that the person you’ve hurt is now willing to forgive you, and is now ready to inevitably accept the apology. In my case, I must’ve understood fully what I’m feeling and why I felt hurt in the first place.